It was 17 May 2003.

You looked weak. Skinny. Tired. And everyone kept asking if you were allright and strong enough to do it. I remember i told you not to force yourself. That it would be better if you stayed in bed resting. You were angry. And you told us, "Let me do this. This one last time." None of us could think that it would really be your last time. But it was. It was the last service you held. Your last service : My wedding.

I watched you in awe. You were standing on that podium and preached with your clear thunderous and loving tones. As if you hadn't got through those radiations and mean chemotheraphies. I knelt for your bless and you stood there looking so strong like ever. You looked so happy when the service was over.

You couldn't stay for the reception. And two days later we had to bring you to the hospital. You returned home. But only once. There I was, beside your bed. Showing you the pictures from the wedding and you smiled .. You smiled and cried as I kissed you goodbye before i headed to the airport. I didn't want to think it would be the last time i saw you. But it was. Today, one day before your birthday, I stumbled to this picture of yours. Your picture in our one special day : my wedding and your last service.

And I remember a poem you wrote :

.. tapi bagi kita,maut adalah untung :

yang ditabur dalam kebinasaan,

dihidupkan dalam kekekalan;

disemai dalam kehinaan,

ditumbuhkan dalam kemuliaan;

ditanam dalam kelemahan,

dibangkitkan dalam kekuatan;

hanya dalam sekejap saja

semua akan diubah:

kita,kau, dan aku

pewaris hidup kekal,

yang tersisa hanya cinta !

(Fridolin Ukur,1987)

So it is what's left : l o v e .. I know how much you love us, our dear uncle. And God knows how we love and miss you ..